How To Deal With Dark Times In Your Life
Life is good, it’s beautiful, it’s wonderful, but not without its ups and downs. For most people, there are many ups. But every once in a while, the downs rear their ugly head and they’re not something we want.
Some of these downs can be worse than the others. In fact, they’re dark. They’re the dark times in our lives. And they’re marked with situations we have little to no control over.
It’s like you’re driving blindfolded in a car through a very busy highway. You have no option to stop the car, so you have to keep driving.
And because of that you’re scared. You’re unsure of what’s going to happen next. You have the wheel, but because you can’t see where you’re going, you have absolutely no idea of where you are, or what’s in store for you the very next minute or second.
The worst thing about the whole situation is the tension and fear it puts in your mind and heart. It’s something else.
These dark times are not just times or periods when something we don’t like happens to us. No, no, no no. Not all all. These are far worse. They’re something else.
They’re times when you have lost almost all control of what’s happening in your life.
Now, the question is, how do you deal with them? How do you deal with these dark times?
Try to stay in the present
Most people suffer and are unhappy because they spend their life in the future instead of the present. They’re never present. They’re always thinking about the worse that is to happen even though it has not happened yet.
If you’re always thinking about the future, you’ll never enjoy the present. Try as much as possible to be in the present.
What is your present reality? Is your biggest fear happening right now? No? Then why not enjoy the present? Stop thinking about that dooms day when it’s not even happening yet.
Be in the present. Enjoy the good things, the good circumstances and beautiful things happening around you now. That doomsday may never come.
Ask for help
Most of us find it very difficult to ask for help. I know I do. Asking other people for help sometimes makes us feel weak.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. No one can handle this world alone. We all hit rock bottom every once in a while. And we all need each other to survive, especially in our darkest times when we face challenges that are beyond our capabilities.
Family, friends, spouses, workmates, are all important sources of help and support. Sometimes, all you got to do to get relief from a difficult situation is ask someone close to you for support, or confide in them.
Support can come in various means, even in ways you never expected it to come. It can be in the form of a listening ear, in the form of advice, suggestions, emotional and even financial support.
It can come in various ways. Don’t just keep things to yourself no matter how introverted you are. Find someone or a group you can confide in.
Figure out what you really want
Sometimes when we’re in a dark place, we tends to misplace our priorities because of the confusion going on in our lives.
Like I said, being in a dark place is like driving blindfolded. So, it’s easy to understand how confused one can be, and how one can easily misplace their priorities.
When life’s challenges come, the whole ordeal can cause us to lose focus of what we really want out of life.
So, what I like to do whenever I’m passing through a difficult time in my life is to always try to ground myself and make sure I’m placing my priorities right.
I ask myself what it is I really want. What is my goal? What is it I want to really accomplish, that will bring the greatest satisfaction to me?
Knowing what I really want to accomplish, or what I really want helps me to set my priorities straight, and avoid spending time on things that means nothing to me.
Stop trying to please other people
The need to please other people can be a very detrimental to us. It’s one of the most detriment feelings whatsoever. It’s that feeling to act and do things not because we really want to, but because it would please some other person out there.
Trying to please other people will give you the biggest pain ever. It’s an exercise in futility. You can never ever please other people.
You can’t. It’s impossible. No matter what you do, there’s going to be somebody out there who’s just pissed at you for nothing.
So, the best thing for you to do is try to take yourself into consideration at all times. Figure out what you really want. Take your opinion serious.
If other people don’t like you or what you’re doing, that’s fine as long as you’re not harming anyone or committing any crime.
It doesn’t help when you’re passing through a difficult time, and at the same time being a people pleaser. You’ll only end up driving yourself into the ground by doing that.
Love yourself first
This kind of emphasizes more on the previous point about not living your life to please other people. Here, I’m saying love yourself first.
That’s very important.
I used to be always guilty of loving other people before myself. And for the record, there’s nothing wrong with loving other people. In fact, it’s very important that you have empathy for people, that you love other people.
But it gets bad when you do that at your own detriment. When you go out of your way every time putting your interest behind just to please other people, that’s when it’s too much.
Sometimes, you have to take your interest into account and consider how your good deeds to other people affect you in the long run.
Like I said, there’s nothing bad when you put other people before yourself. It’s a sign that you’re a good person. However, you must strive to strike a balance in doing so, so you don’t leave yourself in a perilous situation.
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